I read a book, the "Seven Daughters of Eve" Bryan Sykes. It's a rather involved book that deals with Human Mitochondrial Genetics...yea...but interesting, none the less. What I took away from the book is we can trace our maternal lineage back to one of seven women, thought of as "clan women". To further muddle this complex theory, some of these clan women are decedents of others, leading to one, one Woman, Eve.
Now in the world of genealogy we tend to follow our surname, in other words, the paternal lineage, to find our "Roots". As a matter of fact, that was my first inclination and was rather easy to do, given that men don't change there name, but I wanted to make it more complicated, I wanted to follow the maternal lineage. See, a male will carry his mother's mtDNA, but he won't pass it on to his children. So my grandson's have my daughter's, but not mine. However, my granddaughters not only have a piece of my daughter (their Mom), but they have a bit of me, and my mother, and her mother, and so on.....so that is why I want to follow all the Mothers of my lineage.
There are no real glimpses of what life was like for the woman in my family, in my research, thus far, but I am seeing bits an pieces that intrigue me...unfortunately I am stuck, I have gone only as far back as my Great, Great, Great gramma, Emeline Shively, who was born in NY in 1830, and ended up in Truckee CA, with her children and no husband.....how did she get from Indiana (where the last 3 of her children were born) to CA? It happened sometime between 1860 and 1870, in the 1860 census her husband was alive and they were in IN, and by the 1870 census, she was in Meadow Lake CA, with her 2 younger children and her married daughters family (My Great, Great Gramma). Did she travel across the country with 2 young children, by herself? to be closer to her daughter, after the loss of her husband? Did her husband make it out there and pass away? or did he die en route? It seems so intriguing...But I want to know who she was, I want to find her maiden name to see where she grew up and under what conditions....and what of her Mother? She would have been born in the early 1800's, where did she come from?.....my search continues.
At some point I'd like to write the story of these women. And I am hoping that it won't take too long. Wish me luck. Here's my Tree, if you want to look; http://trees.ancestry.com/tree/16703919/family
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, October 1, 2010
The Conversation
What is the conversation in your head?
Do you believe you're wiser? or just older?
I'm a 54 year old woman, and I'm feeling older. Not older than 54; older than the woman I know to be me. I don't know this 54 year old woman, I can't talk to her like I could the 40 year old woman I was, and she left so quickly, I barely had a chance to ask her what she was up to. I don't think I had one conversation with the 30-something woman I was, she was too busy living her life.
What would I say to the 30 year old me? "Soak it all in, Suck it up, and most of all, enjoy your kids, 'cuz they won't be there forever. Oh yea, and take some time off from worrying about the "important" things, yea, I got the whole "small stuff" idea, but when you're living it, it's important, and I would just tell myself that the important stuff (and the small stuff) takes away from the "living" stuff.
"It went by so fast! Didn't it? WTF???" See? that's my new conversation, and that's one depressing, non-productive conversation! It's self-defeating and, quite frankly, boring. So I try not to talk to myself. But then I remember some wise advice...
A true story. Recently, two teenage girls, going through that horrific time in their lives when it's almost too hard to be teenage girls (been there?), were given an exercise to help them understand that life does get better, an exercise to illuminate the idea of how becoming a woman can be empowering, and to give them a reason to hang in there. The exercise goes like this:
The Conversation.
Find a comfortable place to sit, close your eyes, take a deep breath, relax. With your eyes closed, imagine yourself on a shaded path, barefoot, so you can feel the cool, soft ground under you feet. Begin to walk forward, aware of the soft dirt on your feet and the cool shaded air on your skin, just walk slowly forward...Begin to look around you, are there trees ahead? Set the scene, whatever makes you comfortable.
As you walk along this path, look ahead of you, you can see a figure in the distance, walking toward you. Pay attention to the figure as she comes into focus. As you walk toward each other, I want you to become aware that this figure that approaches you, looks like you, but older. Notice her features, the way she walks with her head high and a confident smile, see looks as though she recognizes you, and is very happy to see you. There is something about her that seems Wise, and she holds her arms out as you near, she gives you an embrace, you feel her strong arms and her soft cheek against yours. You feel safe in her arms.
The two of you stand face to face, and you realize, without words, that this is you, as an older, wiser woman. Suddenly you have a million questions whirling through your head, she smiles and says, "Ask me anything."
Ask her about her life, does she have children? where does she live? is she married? has she traveled? what does she like to do? Ask her everything...get to know her...feel how much you love her, and how grateful she is that you are there.
When you are done, when you have run out of questions, she will take your hands and look into your eyes and tell you that you are welcome to visit her, any time. She will tell you that you are never alone, and that she will always be there, when you need her.
The most important part of this exercise is that when you are done with this conversation, you do not turn and walk away from her, you stand there, face to face, holding each others hands and smile, and simply open your eyes, you never leave each other alone, again.
You know who turned these teenage girls onto this exercise? Me. My mother committed suicide when I was 28 years old, I learned a lot from that, I learned enough that I know it gets better, I know there is a lifetime of living and when it's over, the conversation ends.
So I think this 54 year old me, needs to meet the 80 year old me, I bet she'll cheer me up!
Go talk to yourself!
Do you believe you're wiser? or just older?
I'm a 54 year old woman, and I'm feeling older. Not older than 54; older than the woman I know to be me. I don't know this 54 year old woman, I can't talk to her like I could the 40 year old woman I was, and she left so quickly, I barely had a chance to ask her what she was up to. I don't think I had one conversation with the 30-something woman I was, she was too busy living her life.
What would I say to the 30 year old me? "Soak it all in, Suck it up, and most of all, enjoy your kids, 'cuz they won't be there forever. Oh yea, and take some time off from worrying about the "important" things, yea, I got the whole "small stuff" idea, but when you're living it, it's important, and I would just tell myself that the important stuff (and the small stuff) takes away from the "living" stuff.
"It went by so fast! Didn't it? WTF???" See? that's my new conversation, and that's one depressing, non-productive conversation! It's self-defeating and, quite frankly, boring. So I try not to talk to myself. But then I remember some wise advice...
A true story. Recently, two teenage girls, going through that horrific time in their lives when it's almost too hard to be teenage girls (been there?), were given an exercise to help them understand that life does get better, an exercise to illuminate the idea of how becoming a woman can be empowering, and to give them a reason to hang in there. The exercise goes like this:
The Conversation.
Find a comfortable place to sit, close your eyes, take a deep breath, relax. With your eyes closed, imagine yourself on a shaded path, barefoot, so you can feel the cool, soft ground under you feet. Begin to walk forward, aware of the soft dirt on your feet and the cool shaded air on your skin, just walk slowly forward...Begin to look around you, are there trees ahead? Set the scene, whatever makes you comfortable.
As you walk along this path, look ahead of you, you can see a figure in the distance, walking toward you. Pay attention to the figure as she comes into focus. As you walk toward each other, I want you to become aware that this figure that approaches you, looks like you, but older. Notice her features, the way she walks with her head high and a confident smile, see looks as though she recognizes you, and is very happy to see you. There is something about her that seems Wise, and she holds her arms out as you near, she gives you an embrace, you feel her strong arms and her soft cheek against yours. You feel safe in her arms.
The two of you stand face to face, and you realize, without words, that this is you, as an older, wiser woman. Suddenly you have a million questions whirling through your head, she smiles and says, "Ask me anything."
Ask her about her life, does she have children? where does she live? is she married? has she traveled? what does she like to do? Ask her everything...get to know her...feel how much you love her, and how grateful she is that you are there.
When you are done, when you have run out of questions, she will take your hands and look into your eyes and tell you that you are welcome to visit her, any time. She will tell you that you are never alone, and that she will always be there, when you need her.
The most important part of this exercise is that when you are done with this conversation, you do not turn and walk away from her, you stand there, face to face, holding each others hands and smile, and simply open your eyes, you never leave each other alone, again.
You know who turned these teenage girls onto this exercise? Me. My mother committed suicide when I was 28 years old, I learned a lot from that, I learned enough that I know it gets better, I know there is a lifetime of living and when it's over, the conversation ends.
So I think this 54 year old me, needs to meet the 80 year old me, I bet she'll cheer me up!
Go talk to yourself!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)